


Silver Sandwich

by through-the-stars-to-the-pavement (delicate_mageflower)



Series: Sun, Stars, Earth [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Chronic Pain, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Growing Up Too Fast, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Injury, Post-Hundred Year War - Freeform, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Loathing, Sokka deserves happiness, Sokka has a heart as strong as a lion-turtle and twice as big, Sokka needs all of the hugs, Sokka's trauma needs comforting too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27354559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delicate_mageflower/pseuds/through-the-stars-to-the-pavement
Summary: Zuko has never seen Sokka break like this before. But he does not hesitate to show him all the love and support he deserves.
Relationships: Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Suki/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Sun, Stars, Earth [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967482
Comments: 12
Kudos: 227





	Silver Sandwich

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this a while ago and didn't manage to finish it until after having a massive breakdown partially about all the responsibility I had forced upon me as a child and having to be the strong one and not being allowed to break down! Which gave me major Sokka feels, more than usual lol, and that is how I finally finished!
> 
> But in the time it took I have noticed a decent increase in Sokka Comfort fics and I am very glad to see that.
> 
> 🖤

The first time Zuko sees Sokka having a panic attack, several feelings hit him at once.

The first being a sympathy born of solidarity. The second being sadness, a heartbreak from seeing someone he loves so much endure something he knows from so much personal experience is indescribably horrible. And then…

He feels so much less alone. He feels _relief._

Which makes him feel a bit sick.

It’s just Sokka, suffering like this all by himself. Or so he thinks, anyway. He doesn’t appear to have noticed Zuko yet.

Sokka is sitting on the bed, his knees to his chest, his head in his hands, shaking and rocking and hyperventilating and…

And he is always, _always_ there for Zuko when this happens to him when he didn’t even know it gets _this_ bad for Sokka, so he has to help.

Zuko carefully concentrates his own footsteps, soft and delicate as he walks towards Sokka.

“Sokka,” he whispers as he begins to approach Sokka’s eyeline. Better to hear him coming as gently as humanly possible than to be so quiet Sokka is caught entirely by surprise by Zuko’s visual presence sneaking up on him.

Sokka opens his eyes and seeks out the direction of Zuko’s voice. They quickly close again when Sokka spots him, but at least now Zuko knows it’s safe to come closer without setting Sokka off and making this worse.

“Sokka,” Zuko whispers again. He stands at the edge of the bed on the side furthest from Sokka, and he puts his hand down on the bed. He waits until Sokka’s eyes open and find him again, and asks, “May I?”

Once more closing his eyes, Sokka nods, and Zuko gently sits up on the bed and shuffles his way over to him.

“I’m here, Sokka. I’m here.”

He moves slowly but closer and closer, watching his slightest movements cautiously.

Zuko feels an odd shame at never having seen this before. Their romantic relationship is still fairly new but Sokka has been seeing Zuko through his such episodes for years, regardless of the nature of their bond. So Zuko feels he should have been there for Sokka, too.

“I’m gonna touch your knee, if that’s okay, Sokka. Is that okay?”

Sokka nods, and Zuko does as he said. 

“Sokka, can you look at me?”

Sokka opens his eyes again, but he can’t focus. So he closes them and shakes his head.

Zuko is going through everything he can remember about being helped when it’s the other way around.

“I…I’m here, Sokka. You’re safe here, okay? I’m here and Suki should be in soon, too. And we’re not gonna let anything happen to you.”

Sokka tenses when Zuko says that, and it’s clear that was the wrong approach but Zuko doesn’t know why, and he doesn’t know how to move forward from it.

“Hey,” he starts again, recalling another strategy Sokka has used on him many times. “Breathe with me, okay? Focus on the sound of my breath and follow it.”

He breathes in, and then out. And then in, and then out. He can hear Sokka struggle, but Sokka _is_ following.

“Do you know where you are?” Zuko asks, and Sokka nods but even in this state he recognizes that question is not part of Sokka’s repertoire for Zuko, and Zuko doesn’t realize he’s just given something big away about himself in that but Sokka has the clarity in just this moment to file it away for later.

Whether it’s because of the quasi-confession that ever so quickly registers there or just because he’s ready all on his own, it’s impossible to say, but Sokka then surprises Zuko by pushing himself at him, forcing them both to lie down and wrapping his arms around Zuko, pulling him in tight and using him to ground himself.

Zuko repositions himself so his arms are around Sokka and Sokka’s head is against his chest, and Zuko instinctively strokes his hair and kisses his head, and Sokka lets him.

“I’ve got you, Sokka,” Zuko whispers, and he hopes it helps as much as when Sokka and Suki say it to him. “I love you so much.”

“I love you,” Sokka exhales, barely audible, shaken and raw but still there.

And Sokka is holding on so tight, holding on to Zuko for dear life, aggravating the lingering pain radiating from his shoulder and all down his arm from saving Toph on the airship he _also_ tries never to talk about.

“I’ve got you,” Zuko repeats again and again. Even when it doesn’t necessarily _help,_ he knows how much he likes to hear it, so he hopes Sokka will get the same out of him saying it.

He doesn’t press Sokka to tell him what happened yet. It’s driving him crazy, not knowing, but Sokka is obviously not yet in a space to talk about it and Zuko won’t rush him.

But Sokka just grips him harder and harder, and his arms are trembling and he’s occasionally hissing like it hurts and Zuko debates trying to get him to ease off for Sokka’s own sake but he doesn’t want him to take it the wrong way or deny him what he needs, so he just keeps doing what he’s doing.

Sokka’s hair was already down, which makes finger combing much easier. And Zuko can never get enough of kissing him, even when it’s these small, chaste pecks in his hair and over his forehead and temples.

Zuko has no idea how long they lie like this before Suki comes in, but when she does Zuko instantly sees this is not new to her.

She takes one look at Sokka and Zuko and one look at the open window in the room which Zuko hadn’t even noticed, where the sun is shining through and the breeze is rustling the curtains. She runs to close it, and then she sits down on the bed beside them.

“I… I didn’t know.” Zuko wants to keep his voice steady, but he fails completely. His cracked whisper wavers, emitting a sadness which he does not currently believe is his to indulge.

“S’okay. Bad day. Happens. Didn’t think.” Sokka’s voice is harsh and bears no inflection. As far as Zuko has ever experienced, Sokka sounds nothing like himself.

“No one’s blaming you, love,” Suki reassures him. “You’re okay. I see Zuko’s been taking good care of you.”

“I’ve been trying my best,” Zuko answers anxiously at the same time Sokka nods.

He still doesn’t understand the significance of the window in context to Sokka’s panic attack, but he’s sure he’ll find out shortly and he can be patient for him.

“I love you,” Zuko tells Sokka again, as amazed as ever at how easily he is able to say it. After _years_ of pining, the truth he has felt for so long eagerly tumbles from his tongue at any and every given opportunity. Zuko has not always been the best at being in touch with his own feelings or allowing himself to seek after his own needs, but Sokka and Suki make it so simple.

He isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to casually address them with the terms of endearment they are both able to use on each other and on him the way they do, like it’s absolutely effortless, but he can tell them he loves them like it’s breathing, the most natural thing in the world.

Easier than breathing, actually. And the same could be said for Sokka right now.

“Can you talk to us, babe?” Suki asks, chiming in with another one of those endearments which still elude Zuko so.

“Yeah, I…”

“Do you need me to let you go?”

“No. No, Zuko… _please.”_

Zuko can keep holding him. He can keep holding him forever, if that’s what he needs.

“Too hot, love?” Suki starts guessing. Sometimes it helps to get Sokka talking if he doesn’t have to say it himself at first. “Too windy?”

“Yes,” he nods.

“Both?”

“Yeah. Had nightmares. Didn’t feel better. Just got worse. Weather made it worse.”

Zuko swallows awkwardly. Sokka has nightmares, too, but apparently his don’t wake everyone up like Zuko’s.

Which feels especially wrong knowing Zuko is a terribly light sleeper and Sokka is not, so it reasonably _should_ be the other way around.

And if heat is a trigger for Sokka, Zuko has no idea how in the fuck he’s stayed in the Fire Nation this long, or how he plans to do so in the future.

“It’s okay, my love,” Suki says with an air of musicality to her voice, not a mocking sing-song but a delicate, calming rhythm. “You’re safe now. I’m safe. Toph is safe. Zuko and Katara and Aang are safe. Your dad is safe. We’re on solid ground. The comet’s gone. It’s over now.”

_Oh._

Zuko knows Sokka hates air travel. He knew this was a more recent change, knew he never seemed to mind all that time they spent flying on Appa before the comet. But it’s only just now he’s figured out _why._

His grip on Sokka tightens.

He does not understand what Sokka is even doing in the Fire Nation at all, ever, and it breaks his heart.

Zuko keeps quiet, not making Sokka worry about his guilty conscience right now when he’s still barely starting to come out of his panic, but Suki looks at him like she knows.

What Zuko _does_ is attempt to reverse engineer some of the lesser known firebending he’d learned specifically from Iroh, pretty sure the worst that can happen is nothing.

Zuko has Sokka so firmly in his grasp, and he takes a deep breath and blows the excess heat he’s absorbed out through his mouth, looking up towards the ceiling and away from Sokka, who briefly shivers.

“Whoa, Zuko, what did you…”

“Heat redirection. I’d hoped that would help.”

“Oh fuck, that feels good,” Sokka sighs, and Zuko breathes a little easier. “Holy shit, I didn’t know you could do that.”

 _I wasn’t sure, either._ Zuko elects to keep that part a secret.

“I don’t think I can do it in my sleep,” Zuko replies, his voice sad. He is so used to regulating his heat that it does not turn off when he isn’t aware of it. He doesn’t control that in his sleep, either, but he will remain at whatever temperature he set himself to when he got into bed. But he’s a firebender, creating heat is easy. Subtracting it is skill, and not so easy to maintain, and absolutely not something he can do without conscious effort.

“It’s okay, babe,” Sokka tells him, because Sokka knows Zuko so he knows Zuko is now feeling guilty about the hot summer nights of the Fire Nation, the humidity that lingers once the sun goes down, and now Sokka wants to help Zuko.

But this is not about Zuko. It is so often about Zuko, too often, and now Sokka is the one in need and Zuko won’t let him change focus.

“I’ve got you now, Sokka,” Zuko assures him. He tries to sound steady and confident, to lift that extra pressure Sokka just placed on his own shoulders and take care of him.

Zuko breathes deep again and lets more steam escape, once more sending it upwards without letting it brush Sokka on its way out.

Sokka cringes in pain. His leg and shoulder hurt, they hurt so much, but what’s legitimate leftover physical damage and what’s psychosomatic is impossible to decipher.

Suki recognizes _that,_ too, and she kisses his head. “Babe, oh my love, you’re okay, Sokka, we’re all safe now. You’ve done so much. You don’t need to worry anymore.”

That’s a lie and all three of them know it. Zuko is the Fire Lord and he has already been subject to multiple attempts on his life since assuming the throne only a few years ago. And Suki is the head of Zuko’s guard, she is often the first to put herself between Zuko and a potential murderer, knowingly risking her life for his on a regular basis. Sokka is probably the safest of them all, but he is just as despised as Zuko by those who oppose him, so he is never entirely in the clear. But his position as least in danger does not sit well with him. It’s supposed to be _his_ job to throw himself in harm’s way to protect the ones he loves. And even post-war, the ones he loves here are _never_ out of harm’s way.

But if a small sanative lie can help him come down now, then a small sanative lie it is. His worries are not the same, anyway. He is no longer his sister’s keeper. He knows where his dad is, that he’s home free. He no longer feels responsible for Aang. Toph made it out alive, even if he will argue to the death that was Suki’s doing and he failed her otherwise.

Sokka is getting downright cold, Zuko continuing to look like a baby dragon breathing out. But it feels so good. It feels like home. Home, but with the extra comfort that comes from his partners being by his side.

The Fire Nation _is_ home now, too. Because Zuko and Suki are home, more than any place could ever be.

Zuko is only the second person to learn about Sokka’s panic attacks. Only Suki knows for sure that’s what’s happening when he gets like this, until now. Katara probably came to some accurate conclusions when she tried to get him to do hot yoga stretches with her for his shoulder and he kept passing out, but as far as Sokka knows, Katara doesn’t have any idea other than that he simply couldn’t handle the heat on a purely physical level and it definitely wasn’t because he couldn’t fucking breathe and his heart rate would more than double each time he tried, which is what made it so suspiciously easy for heat exhaustion to catch to him, making that just the cherry on top.

But for the most part, it isn’t the same here. He can usually avoid being too heavily triggered by not spending an excessive amount of time outside and staying in the shade when he is outdoors, and to a point he’s grown fairly accustomed to the heat in the air just being what it is. But when it’s windy, too, or when it’s especially humid…

Well.

“Sokka, sweetheart, war is over,” Suki continues. “We did it. _You_ did so much. And it’s over now.”

“It’s over now,” Zuko repeats.

“Thank you,” Sokka whispers. He doesn’t budge, doesn’t loosen his body, stays as close as he can to Zuko, but his voice is sincere. “I love you. I love you both. I love you so much. I am so fucking lucky.”

“So am I,” Zuko tells him.

“So am I,” Suki echoes.

Suki wraps her arms around Zuko’s back, stretching out as far as she can to get Sokka fully in her grasp with him.

And Sokka breaks completely.

He isn’t supposed to be on this side of such an episode. He doesn’t get to be on this side of such an episode. He hates being on this side of such an episode.

He started having nightmares when he was thirteen, having anxiety when his dad left and put him in charge, and he’d been experiencing hypervigilance even before but then that part, too, became so much more severe. But he always managed to push it down and keep it hidden. After the war, he has largely lost this luxury. Suki’s known since a few days after the comet and he knew it was only a matter of time before Zuko caught on since they’ve started sleeping in the same room. And he hates it. He fucking hates it.

Breakdowns are not weakness. Anxiety and depression and post-traumatic stress are completely valid and only makes sense after everything all of them went through. It’s okay to struggle, okay to need help.

Unless it’s Sokka. Then it _is_ a lack of strength, a burden, unnecessarily dramatic. He can’t explain why. He cannot rationalize it. There is no logic. But it’s true, dammit. It just is.

It’s safe here, though, in the arms of his loving and understanding partners.

 _Fuck,_ he really is so lucky to have them. He is loved by the two most beautiful, incredible people in the whole wide world.

(Another reason he _should_ be okay, he _should_ channel his good fortune into strength. But.)

But he’s just fucking _sobbing_ into Zuko’s chest, his body _heaving,_ and his loving partners hold him tighter and tighter and he is _so grateful_ to have them here now but he _despises_ needing them the way he does in this.

“And you’re allowed to need me, too,” Zuko says quietly, _so quietly,_ because all that matters to him right now is supporting Sokka and _giving back_ now that he knows. “Sokka, _please_ let us in when you need us.”

 _Spirits,_ Zuko knows him too well. As does Suki. He really can’t escape it now.

“Please do that for me.”

And _that_ is just unfair because Sokka could _never_ turn down Zuko in any way that matters, and this clearly matters _so much_ so he’s fucked.

Suki just keeps stroking Sokka’s hair and kissing his head, every once in a while glancing up at Zuko in encouragement and appreciation.

“I… I’ll try.” It’s the best promise he can make. Suki and Zuko understand.

“You’ve had to be so strong for so long,” Suki says with sympathy. “Let go, love. Let it out. It’s okay. You’re safe. And you’re allowed.”

“Okay. I’ll try.” It’s still all he has. Ignoring just how _aggressively_ he _is_ letting go _right now._

And they just hold him. Comfort him. Encourage him. Support him. Love him.

And for whatever reason, they _want him_ even when he’s like this, and not only that but they want him _to do this._

It’s okay (it’s not but he wants it to be, he wants to believe them). It’s okay (or so they say and he knows he can always trust them so he doesn’t understand why now it’s a problem).

It can be okay for them (they don’t want to make it yet another thing he thinks he has to provide for others but if it helps to begin him allowing himself to break sometimes then they figure they have to start somewhere). He’d do anything for them (so this is where they have to start).

He cries until he can’t anymore, until his eyes run dry and his old leg and shoulder injuries are fucking excruciating and they can tell by his face he’s in pain and it’s fine, they are fine, they are eager to care for him and it’s so hard for him to grasp but it’s _fine_ and that’s _sincere._

They both love him so much, as much as he loves them, throughout all the chaos chronically weighing them all down, they’ve been drawn together and they have each other.

Their silver lining. Or, if they want to tease, their bite of the silver sandwich. Of which Sokka is currently the filling, as Suki shifts over to Sokka’s other side, and Zuko and Suki are holding him together, their silver center.

It’s usually Zuko in the middle and that is _always_ how they sleep, but right now it’s all eyes on Sokka and he doesn’t fight them.

Even now, he shines so brightly and beautifully. He is perfect and precious, and he is everything to the ones who love him.

Bright and precious like silver.

They hold him so tight. It’s going to be okay.

With them, it’s okay.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally titled "Chaos Is Drawn to Silence, Like Life Is Drawn to Death" but in the end it didn't really feel fitting and then that ending happened the way it did, so the final title made itself obvious, lol.


End file.
